Schooling, More Gifting, Ever The Unknown

 More art gifts, photographed in the homes of recipients by said recipients. Made of Spanish clay & other materials. And now I commit to further education in the panhandle, August.

February End

 Getting serious. (Just that. Re-reading the writing on my last blog post I'm like ugh Needs an editor.)

 I'm taking a hiatus from social media (again haha), & thus yea sucked into CNN online more but so the eff what. Now: Here! Lookie me! White hairs coming in strong & feral. Each one earned & no I don't wanna go back everrrrr. Attuned more every day to my inner guidance system. Exploring a new technique of accessing the unconscious through dream-dancing. Now on that: It's a type of somatic therapy, a way to locate basic cellular info, a retrieval system even if the dreams are shoved down past easy recall. Hoo. 

Anywayses. I have a beach rock I saved cuz it looks like the face of a lost love. A year lost now. (He looks like a werewolf.) Here, my face shape echoes his face shape. He still has high marks for a couple sweet things said, the most erotically charged moment of my life...if these things endure marking. & I look more & more like a wunderbar girlfriend here, who makes me laugh & laugh & I hope you know how valuable THAT is. She's got the Hungarian deadpan thing & yea: she's Hungarian. Echoing the shape of another lost love, his sense of humor. That of his mother. They're Hungarian.

These are dots in a constellation. Connect them & there's a starseed origin tale. 

Old writings, newly jostled

You are wise to be wary

of me who walks

reckless, heart

unhinged,

whose face must say "desperation"

though I try to 

play it poker. 

I'll erase it again,

find my feeling,

bind up a bit.

Where is soft fall, or lilt?

Only old swollen fruit,

good for smash crashing on

concrete, or otherwise giving back to

the earth?

Better to keep me at bay

(I'd stray), and point me toward other,

less tender prey.

2000/2021

Turkeys susurrating

nights, if

indeed that's

what they were;

the bounty of

shooting stars

seen from the balcony

I didn't know I had;

the phantasy that 

kept me going.

I seem to have

forded a river,

time two, its

frenetic flow

not long gone.

Do I dream?

Am I stone 

insane? it IS

to suck stone 

when hungry,

but today,

sweet today--

Fresh figs

off the tree.

2011

Morning, March

Daytime slips balm breath

over through all my     skin.

Bird feathers thrustle.

Veronica offers truth in blue.

Rough wintry layers peel

if you help them.

I have no handmaiden

in any season.

The bones set to rush

from this present,

lost to further jollies.

The earth always asks

Where are you, my    pip?

I am more moss,

bubbling brook,

than pair of pants.

This is nothing new,

or unique.

I could kick in your teeth.

I could spit back.

What is a need?-----------------

Wound? Adventure?

Normalcy?

Dispense with dialectic.

I'd ruther a dildo for my time, or a 

lusty lover. Tender, too.

I have something to give.

It's all mine.

It pushes through typical 

dirt.

It has nothing to say,

as no one cares, or they

find thrift in their

tales only.

This must be enough,

everything.

2013

Proverbial soft and hushed

comes the snow this night.

Will anyone believe me

in feeling our spark, steam and simmer

brought it down?

It was a Thursday.

Common to nod THAT right.

(interruption by irate roommate)

(lapse of seven months)

I plan on lemon

raw

to flavor my nether,

bank on

all rushing swift-winged

AND simultaneous nose-cleaning. 

We have been angel 

each to the other,

a never-before for this one.

May the dream

lift tender,

dripping

from its mud

to balmy mid-range,

to heights,

remembering

roots.

January/August 2014

Gifted Etchings & Monoprints+

 

 Mercury is retro and no one will understand this anyway, so here goes. 

Three Fingers, Four Plaid Shorts, and Counting

A plank of wood. With a round hole cut out. And two matchy circles each side for ears. A face. The nth male to present his 2D self. From the mouth escapes a stream of toxic waste. I'm seeing it and thereby affirming it. Some contract earlier made has brought me here.

I stepped into my cheering section. Thus I now see from the most luscious plank-not plank, in my rearview mirror: Concern; nerves; more nerves. I'm a phat fish slithering through fingers. By whose carelessness or other lack? About as relevant as Rumi said. I'm talking about the field.

I slime into my shadow. Teacher said to go, and so. I am loved for this. And my fleshly housing. And my force. Thank you Don Miguel. Cheshire Cat smile too. A toothy grin lives forever, somewhere.

Once electric I turned to see. Couple more times likewise but more mellow. Surprised into my own spirit. The Great Swirl works in this way. I don't want it this way. I want more of it this way. I want whatever I have.

It's electric and sheer and regular and lite beer-style and I'm seeking. The deep, rich--no not pecuniary. The wide humble embrace that can meet and match. Receives this bunt and thereby affirms it. Happenstance at the first. Chooses it at the second. And the rest.

With thanks to my (mercury filling spilled?) sick molar

Seven Years Sober

Anniversary eve & here is a skritch based on pulled Motherpeace Tarot cards (in which the limbic system is turned on its ear):

1) Yep you're shutting him out

2) & bringing some heavy energy to bear

3) Overthinking again...drop into the heartspace, sissy

4) There's that false belief trying to horn in, the one that says You're No Good

5) Yes he's working hard. It's part of his identity, gender makeup & genetic code doy

6) & he's working for YOU

7) You've manifested some honey, little missy

8) He's digging deep!

9) That question is flawed. Drop it like it's hot

10) So is that version of it. Desist

11) You're a pressure cooker, aren't you?

12) To pester would be depressive, create misery, flatten things...

13) ...while an astral letter mightn't do the trick (what? what?? WHAT WILL?)...

14) ...the choice must be made in freedom. Trust yourself indeed

15) That goal-oriented stuff? Bosh. Sitting still & doing nothing gets the goods

& so it was a piece of garbage was befriended & the sense of accomplishment was rich. But we're prizing the paces, aren't we?

With special thanks to the pastor at The Keys Vineyard, Tara Brach, Lee, Suzanne, Hana, Lynn Nesseth, Jim, Linda, Kari, Roger & especially Joseph Driggers