Two weeks ago today I pulled off no small feat, with PILES of help. I made my debut as a bellydancer. I'd been wanting to study the form for two decades, but was simply intimidated. Partly because it's overtly sensual/sexual, but also earnest in its attempt at beauty. For about three weeks before the show I was triggered all over the place, due to prior trauma. Now I have for years applied myself diligently to the healing of these traumas, yet evidently I still had much more work to do. Previously my method for circumventing this kind of presentation as a dancer/performer has been to be hella goofy. And it has served me fairly well, in its way. One thing not commonly advertised about bellydance is its roots in birthing, and

how women did it alone for each other. As a dance of seduction? A secondary consideration. Unless we take into account this saying :"The loving that got the baby in gets the baby out." So I came back around to potential agency embedded within female sexuality, seduction, performance/presentation, the male gaze. Oh the anxiety! But by two days before curtain I felt strong and prepared. Despite some personal stuff going on, unsurprisingly, threatening to drag me into a dump. (These things always echo each other. I guess I'm rather integrated an artist--)

So here are four pix I like, taken by Carol Tedesco. There are some really bad ones out there but I'm being vain today and honestly don't give a hoot! Zurima Cisneros and I choreographed it together, though she helmed it and was completely my coach. It is an Egyptian saidi cane dance. One other minor detail: I'd just finished reading THE RED TENT around this time too. Braids were an Egyptian hairdo then & apparently still are. Something cosmic is going on, as I chose them unknowingly.