Some satirical Rxes from summer 2001, trawling 'round Broome Co. NY, & based on the cookbook gifted my parents upon marrying:

Bored hausfraus need late afternoon tastebud wake up calls! Here are some unique recipes that'll do the trick.
IMPECCABLE SMOOTHIE
1 small can mandarin oranges
1 package kielbasa
1 pint buttermilk
3 "shots" Quik strawberry syrup

If kielbasa is frozen, microwave roughly 5:00. If thawed, 3:00. Puree alone in blender. Add remaining ingredients until you have a liquid consistency. Optional: Garnish w/fresh banana peel cut into a charming fan shape. Enjoy!
SIMPLE-BUT-BEST DIP (for crackers, Ritz or Club variety)
1 can clam juice
1 can cranberry jelly

Puree ingredients. Optional: Sprinkle w/Old Bay seasoning. Enjoy!
HEADS & TAILS
*Perfect for entertaining guests as well*
1 oxtail (or 2 if your preference is strong)
1# head cheese
1 8 oz. jar Smucker's grape jelly
maraschino cherries & Brussels     sprouts for garnish

Boil oxtail & head cheese together in your crock pot about 1-2 hours, or until it looks fairly coagulant. Allow to cool 1 more hour. Mass should be somewhat pliant. On a serving platter, shape in the form of your favorite patriot's profile, adding a New Wave rattail or ponytail if they didn't already have one in most depictions of them. Glaze entire delicacy w/grape jelly. Cut cherries & sprouts in half & arrange around perimeter, alternating cherry-sprout-cherry-sprout, etc for eye-catching color contrast. Chill in fridge 3-4 hours. Serve w/a SMILE.